


Nil Per Os

by Dodo



Series: I anthropomorphize everything [33]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Frottage, Getting Together, M/M, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:21:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26486341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dodo/pseuds/Dodo
Summary: In pepper’s medicine cabinet there was a handsome twink pill pining away for a honey sweet throat lozenge.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: I anthropomorphize everything [33]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1275044
Comments: 20
Kudos: 25
Collections: POTS (18+) Twink Tony Bingo 2020





	Nil Per Os

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to the POTS server for bringing this AU about
> 
> also my fill for twink Tony no powers
> 
> *peter is based on my personal experience with that pill >:[
> 
> NSAIDs- Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs

Pepper’s medicine cabinet was well stocked, and organized. It was cleaned once a month, and she typically put everything back in the same order. The order didn’t really have a logical sense at first glance. However if you were Pepper’s height it would make more sense the supplements, vitamins, and probiotics were on the bottom shelf. Easy to see simply look down a bit and peruse the various multivitamins. 

Up top were the very rarely used pills and gels, the voltaren gel barely squeezed next to the anti inflammatory suppositories, hich had been a gag gift that pepper had kept because she might need them. Though she’d never needed them just the thought of using in one made her current pain seem not that bad. There was always something better than those. Their expiration date was coming up so she was ready for that. 

That forever errant little red IBuprofen pill was chilling on a shelf. Pepper had long given up trying to rehome the pill in the bottle, she wasn’t too sure if it was the same pill. At this point she didn’t care, she’d plucked it off the ground too many times after trying to get the right dose from the bottle. It was a good luck charm at this point. May she always draw what she needs from the bottle and not spill everything on the floor.

Mid level was the prescriptions, stronger doses, and of course throat lozenges. Two different brands, citrus punch and the normal honey flavored ones, she’d been using the citrus ones lately. As they had an expiration date, they also reminded her of summer. So the honey ones were pushed up against the garish red and yellow prescription pills that she got. The ones that taste of artificial strawberry, that require a full tummy of food and sometimes make her drowsy. They worked very well but the side effect was problematic. She had to plan when she could take that pill, and thus there were quite a few left.  
-  
Tony sighed as he pressed shifted in his casing, he had the perfect view of the honey lozenges, he had caught the feelings for the one that was smaller and the wrapper looked kittywampus, one side had more of the wrapper, the other side was short that it reminded Tony of a sausage ending. He found it endearing, and that lozenges was pretty much always facing him anyways. Tony flexed his capsule watching the lozenges blush the wrapper taking on a purplish color.

He was a trim athletic pill with an easy to swallow coating on his body that was flavored artificial strawberry, he was a bit ashamed of that. A childish feature, but at least the lozenges were also flavored. He’d seen Pepper eat them like jolly ranchers, So he felt safer with them. Also down here, he could ignore Ty stone better than the loathsom suppository that thought since they were both NSAIDs that they belonged together.

Tony repressed a shiver. He could feel that cute pill’s eyes on him. He would be strong in the face of Ty’s attempts to sway Tony, not like Tony could go anywhere, anyways but being a shelf lower than Ty really helped. Right now he could still hear him but eventually the mutterings from below. The health shelf would drown Ty out, thankfully. Middle shelf next to the cute rucked up lozenge was the best spot in the cabinet.

The jar of miralax thankfully nudged Ty into the gel which really muffled his attempts at poetry. Which consisted of him reading from other labels and trying to rythme things to it. Not a lot of things worked well with ‘frequent stool’ and it really tested Stane’s patience. Reading other’s labels outloud was down right rude. Tony though had read all about the natural honey flavored lozenges, in an attempt to learn more about the tiny one.

Peter rolled on by, tilting his body as a wave. He was a friendly pill, a bit too active. Luckily Peter also tilted himself at the smaller lozenge in the see through window of the bag.  
“Hello, Steve!”  
The tiny lozenge waved one side of his wrapper in return. Tony felt his contents shift, the cute lozenge was named Steve! Peter was a miracle worker!  
-  
Steve was happy to see Peter, he’d recently fallen off the shelf and Steve had worried he’d been shattered but nope Peter was in one piece and on a roll. Steve settled slightly under Bucky, his brother’s wrapper was two different colors. Bucky was sleeping again, there had been a bit of a midnight party in the citrus bag so there had been a lot of shuffling around near morning.

Which had been very good, Steve had been able to get a window spot so he could look at that trim fit red and yellow pill. Peter had called him Tony, Steve was utterly enamored by Tony. A real medication, and having scoped out Tony’s packaging. A real pill with flavoring! Steve rustled in his wrapper; they were somewhat similar. Steve was aware he was smaller, and his wrapper was messed up. He liked to think Tony was looking at him, that smooth, sleek, trim, twink, Toradol. What could the garnet and gold pill want from tiny Steve and his askew wrapper?

“Stop sighing punk!”  
Bucky waved his silver side at Steve disgruntled.  
“You two moon at each other all day, given the chance. just say hello already.”  
“Bucky!”  
Steve cried out as the silver part of the wrapper obscured his view of Tony. He pushed Bucky away, trying his best not to scream at his jerk of a brother. Bucky was playing with him of course and as he pushed Bucky would wiggle in a way to obscure Tony with another part of his bulky body.  
“FINE, just move!”

Bucky was cackling as he settled back into the bag out of the way, the side of his wrapper bopped Steve in the head.  
“Good luck punk!”  
“Jerk,”  
Steve looked up to the plastic window to see the ranet and gold pill leaning forward in the casing, was Tony worried? Steve raised his larger wrapper arm and waved.  
“Hello Tony.”

The pill bounced in the package then he heard a tiny  
“Hello Steve!”  
The vacuum package must be hard to talk through, he smiled though Tony was moving his case closer by rocking and nudging his package.  
“Are you okay? I saw that one bully you.”  
“Oh thats bucky, he’s like my brother.”  
Tony looked blankly at Steve, and Steve realized the way Tony was packaged meant he was never really close to anyone. Steve felt his little crystalized heart go out to Tony.  
“He’s a friend that's just how he shows he cares, bit of a jerk.”  
“Yeah, I was worried. Is he the biggest lozenge?”  
“Yes, I’m good. He keeps everyone else in line.”  
-  
Tony was so happy the tiniest, spuniest of lozenges was his Steve, they talked nearly every day now. Peter would roll by sometimes to drop off the latest gossip[ from the health shelf. Or just to chat. Apparently, Ty had finally been flushed, and there was a new product in his place. When asked what Peter’s face had screwed up and ‘cup’ had been his only response. Tony was pretty sure it was one of those femmine cups, if the purple packaging was anything to go by. Probably best Peter didn’t investigate that one.

Steve had an interesting story about the time Ty had fallen down on the citrus lozenges that painted Ty in poor light, much to Tony’s delight. He exchanged the story about one of his pill mates Justin exploding in the casing just before use. Steve seemed kind of greenish after that, and stopped that story short, maybe hearing about pills bursting from performance issues wasn’t the best topic. 

Everything was going splendidly, Tony would wake up and great Steve. They would talk and talk, from sunup, to sun down. Tony was happy but he yearned to touch Steve. He was envious of the ease in which Bucky could swat Steve. He wanted to cozy up in those twisted arms. Devel deep into Steve’s wrapper and enjoy the all natural flavored honey. He could show Steve everything but not from his individual packaging.  
-  
Pepper was sitting, her friend Natasha’s cat that bore the strange name of Clint. Natasha had instructions which included cat/toddler proofing the entire house. The cat was a tuxedo cat, Pepper hoped that meant it was easier to clean up after only having black or white fur. Luckily it seemed Clint prefered to hide, and their paths never really crossed.

Well except when Pepper was cleaning up what every Clint had gotten into, the potted plant in the bathroom was changed out to a vase of marble flats. The one pink phone charger was chewed up, the occasional cup that Clint would get stuck in after shoving his face in. Pepper was perplexed why he kept doing it.  
-  
Eventually Clint returned to the bathroom, to continue his messy crimes. When he discovered the medicine cabinet could open, all bets were off. Eyes wide in pleasure as he purred his way around the shelves knocking off things. Sending jars and bottles to the ground without a thought. He sniffed at the lozenges and when that hint of citrus hit his sensitive nose he flinched back batting the bags away.

Turning around in the tiny confines of the cabinet spilled the rest of that shelf out onto the counter. The throat lozenges scattered across the granite, and Clint went for one of the blogger ones batting it off the ledge and watching. Leaning over the ledge, tail flicking, like some savage beast.

Tony had dropped only a shelf in the chaos but he’d watched in terror as Steve’s home was tossed and scattered. He watched Bucky take on the cat, and fall on to the floor. Probably with Peter, who was missing yet again. Eyes searching for Steve, there!

Steve was on the rim of the sink, teetering. The sink! If Steve fell in he was doomed the jewelry trap that Pepper used was sitting by the soap dish. It was a one way ticket to be dissolved in the drain trap. He wiggled in his package so he could save Steve. He would just pop his package and hit Steve just right and his lovely honey would be safe.

He popped out of his package and shot off falling with the mathematical precision and knocking Steve back on the counter and himself. Safe away from the ledge. Steve wrapped his arm around Tony, as they cried in relife. Not noticing the ‘dressed for chaos’ cat lurking nearby. A white mitten reached out and batted the pill and lozenge across the smooth granite countertop.

“Tony, I love you!”  
“I love you too Steve!” they held onto each other as the world span and the cat pounced on them again. The nose and heavy breathing, the cat swatted them with too much energy and they skipped lanting in the marble flat vase. They huddled together as the cat tried to figure out how to get in, the vase was heavy. The lip was wide and the cat could certainly get in and torment them more. Though something rolled off the counter top making a noise and the cat was completely diverted.  
-  
It took a while for Steve to stop shaking, his life had flashed in front of his eyes too many times today and he just wanted to keep holding on tight to Tony. The firm body of Tony was pressed up against his wrapper and it felt really nice. Tony eventually started to squirm a bit and Steve loosened his hold just enough so Tony could lean back.

“Wow,”  
“Yeah wow.”  
Some nervous laughter left Steve, Tony chuckled along with him and then leaned back into the embrace.  
“So my honey lump, we’re finally together.”  
“Yes, and safe from that beast.”

“No more cats in our future just us.”  
“Yeah, I saw bucky fall.”  
“He’s probably chilling with Peter.”  
“Oh you think so?”  
Steve shifted, he was worried about Bucky, but if Peter was there. Well Peter had more floor experience than any of them, so Bucky was probably also safe.  
“Yeah, Your brother may be a jerk but he’s not dumb.”  
“That is true. It's really nice to hold you. Thank you for saving me.”  
“For you, anything.”

Steve rubbed his face into Tony, happy to have the pill he loved in his arms.  
“So Steve, I sprung out for you, could you uhh,”  
“Oh yeah let me.”  
Steve slowly unwrapped himself, pausing when Tony leaned on him.

“That's enough, look you really are that perfect blue.”  
“You think so?”  
Steve ducked as he felt a blush coming on. Tony was a smooth talker and he was already deeply in love with the garnet and gold pill.  
“I know so, so sweet let me have a taste? We compliment each other.”  
“Yeah Strawberries and honey sounds good.”  
“You knew?”  
“Oh Tony, I checked out your package every moment I could get.”  
The red part of Tony turned darker as he paused in licking at Steve’s depression.

“Wow,”  
Steve pushed forward and licked at Tony’s seam tasting the chemical combination that was called strawberry, it was surprisingly good. Tony squirmed under him, Steve felt like he had power and pushed Tony up against a shiny pink marble flat.  
“Whoa! Steve.”  
“Yes?”  
“Let me, uh… go easy on me.”  
“Okay, kiss me!”

Tony compiled quickly as they kissed, the flavor of honey and strawberry mixed well, sweeting Tony’s flavor and giving Steve a bit of that tart punch. They broke apart and sighed into each other and then Tony wiggled up to rub his golden side against Steve’s bottom depression pushing away the wrapper gently.

“Oh Tony that feels amazing!”  
“You feel amazing Steve.”  
Tony’s rubbing started out with purpose but Steve rolled back into Tony and all of his control went to the wind as he rubbed himself raw against Steve’s sticky blue side. Steve was moaning softly as he felt himself melting inside his wrapper and joining in Tony’s gel coat. Smearing themselves around on each other a mark of ownership. Just thinking about his blue getting on Tony’s garnet and gold shell, pushed him closer to the edge. 

Steve rolled into Tony grinding himself down on Tony’s bubus end, his whole body tingled and shuddered as his vision hazed out. The face that Tony was making at him seared into his mind as the grey edges over took his vision. He could hear Tony call out his name and then settle up against him  
“Steve, that was exceptional!”  
Tony was half in Steve’s wrapper when he came too, Steve tugged it back on. Pulling it around Tony as best he could. He licked at Tony a bit and was rewarded with a grin.

“Insatiable, let this old pill sleep.”  
“You aren’t that old.”  
“Older than you think,”  
Tony tweaked a bit and Steve’ unaware that his body was still so sensitive.  
“Oh!”  
His body shuddered and the tingles came back and Tony was laughing.  
“Better Steve?”  
“Yes, mmm love you.”  
“Love you too.”

Steve dozed off with Tony right there stuck to his side and half in his wrapper. He woke a bit later when he realized that buzzy noise was in fact Tony snoring, but settled down after he assessed everything. Still safe, no cat, and there were bits of blue on the garnet and gold twink capsule that was Tony. Everything was amazing.


End file.
